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cheekyredhead You are Brilliant Nov 11, 2009 8:29 PM Akeelah and the Bee: Akeelah : [ quoting Marianne Williamson ] Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. I love this quote from the Movie: Akeela and the Bee When we limit ourselves we somehow limit others too? That is an interesting concept. How much do we question ourselves about our worthiness? Probably often every day. As humans we tend to be very hard on ourselves. We also have a bad habit of not letting go of pain, wrong doing, and those slights which seem to hurt forever. Suddenly we see we have a choice. Choice is a marvelous thing. We really can choose to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, or fabulous. There will be those who may disagree and of course they will but they cannot take your brilliance. They can pretend to ignore that talent. They can even become filled with envy but it does not lessen your shine unless you allow it to. I find it easy to look at others and see all those wonderful attributes. There are two sorts of people. People who choose to see the best in everyone around them, and those who choose to see the worst. Perhaps people who are miserable see only a reflection. It is something which boggles my mind. Why would anyone choose to see only the worst, expect the worst, and then feel the worst? I spend a lot of time trying to see the best, hoping, and even nurturing others in hopes to help them see the best. As a writer I am an observer and an annotation maker. It means I look all around and often marvel at what so many miss and then try to unveil the brilliance they secretly hide. My stories and goofy articles are my attempts to perhaps help others see inside what they often overlook. It could be emotions, memories, or times in your life long forgotten. Our memories frame us, are part of us, and sometimes color the view we see of ourselves. There are times when I am not particularly brilliant, in fact I can be downright dull. We really are far harder on ourselves than we should be. We see our imperfections and magnify them, ultimately deciding we are inadequate. Moving forward while looking backward probably gets us no where, and gives us tons of bruises from running into things. Life is so short. I can't bear to watch it in slow motion. Doesn't seem that when things go awry that they move in slow motion? I have a theory about that. I believe our minds slow it down in the hope that we are taking notes so we don't repeat those same mistakes. The pain is often exquisitely slow and meticulously mean to underline those very important notes we should be taking. How often in life do we choose to focus only on the pain and ignore the brilliance? We can't allow the pain to blind us. Choosing to revel in the light and brilliance is such a better choice. Shake off those naysayers and start to ignore those whispers of discontent. They aren't yours unless you decide to own that pain. Take a deep breath, close your eyes and choose to let go of the darkness. It will flow from you to escape the light. Exhale...Let that breath go and send that pain and darkness from you. To quote yet again: "We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?" and I say...of course you are! I can see it! Can't you? Then move forward instead of backwards and grab this promise: "We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same." Of course our views of God may be vastly different, but we all have one thing in common...we were born to shine. I look forward to seeing your light, gazing into your brilliance, celebrating your talent, and reveling in your gorgeous and fabulous smiles.

cheekyredhead Your Holiday Story.... Oct 23, 2009 1:30 PM We had all had those holidays which stand out in our memories. It may be a fabulous memory which makes us all warm and fuzzy inside, to be compared to every future memory and be measured by it. We all have those holiday memories we'd like to forget---like the year both my Mom and my Aunt felt they had to be the one cooking the turkey and my Mom's turkey imploded. (Seriously...it became a heap of bones and the meat sort of disintegrated) As children we had ideas about sugar plums just as much as we anticipated the tooth fairy...probably more. Later in life as we married and somehow combined families, and our family traditions changed. We created new memories together. We have had that gift we thought was going to rock someone's world which turned out to be as exciting as a flat tire. There are those of us that prayed, pleaded, and made deals with God (or whoever else was listening) to just this one time....get that one thing or to be able to give that one great thing which would change our relationship with someone. Of course there are also those times when we all thought "What the heck was this person thinking" when we opened a gift which astounded us. An example of this was someone close to me, her mother-in-law gave her a retractable clothesline one year, a sink hair strainer the next, and it just went even further down hill after that. (I am not kidding) And yes, we try to remember holiday seasons are about giving, not receiving....but still "What the heck!" I suppose I'd like to think that we all hold onto some memories we cherish and find ways to laugh about those which perhaps fell short. It is not always so easy. As a young kid my father owned a prosperous business and Christmas was magical--our living room looked like the Sears toy department had exploded in there. Then when he became a minister, sold his business and gave those funds to the church, and our Christmas changed dramatically. How does a 10 year old go from abundance into being thankful for a birthday cake for Jesus and one small gift? It was hard, which perhaps explains why I am HUGE about Christmas now as an adult, and why my home has a Christmas tree in every room. (yes even bathrooms) The lesson I learned at 10 was not an easy one, it shaped my vision of holidays, and gave me new appreciation for what I had, and taught me that it really is about giving. It did not prepare me for those who can never be pleased no matter how hard you try, whose expectations are so absurd and unobtainable, or worse---never learned about the gift which really comes from the heart. This year will probably be the leanest holiday season many Americans have ever had in their lifetimes. As a nation we are re-evaluating priorities, learning the hard way that credit cards are possibly either works of the devil--or what saves our holiday from being dismal. I am thinking that many Americans this upcoming holiday season are going to learn about that gift which comes from the heart, embrace it or simply be disappointed by it. This woman is hoping that they embrace it. There are a few of us which have already experienced difficult Holidays. We are the emotional war veterans of lonely holidays, times when we felt guilty about what we couldn't give or felt guilty receiving something decadent. One thing we all share is our renewed faith that people do give gifts from the heart and we should be open to celebrate each one no matter how small or insignificant anyone else views it. While I tend to be a bit cheeky and kid around a lot...it has always been the thing which helped me cope with the emotionally difficult times. I still make a Christmas birthday cake for Jesus, smile while I serve it, and think about how precious that cake was way back then when it was so hard for me to appreciate it. That cake was simple...we didn't even have frosting. My cake now is decorated on the top with chocolate chips.....why? Because some higher power gave us chocolate and I am going to celebrate it! Why can't Jesus can take credit for chocolate? Several years back my mother began making gingerbread men for Christmas...anatomically correct gingerbread men....and YES even a preacher's wife can be cheeky. (now you know where I get it from) SO---I am asking you to consider and ponder your Christmas memories and share them with us here. Sharing a painful one helps you heal...sharing one that was really meaningful makes you appreciate it even more. Then...read each other's memories because they will remind you that sharing them with the people close to you is even more important. This is your dress rehearsal for the upcoming holidays. I am hoping you will create a gift from the heart and share it with those close to you in the holidays to come. And remember....it is okay to be cheeky. Humor heals.

cheekyredhead I refuse to get old. Sep 25, 2009 9:54 PM My best friend tells me that as people age they are supposted to S L O W down. Why? I have done the opposite and I believe it keeps me young....well probably younger than most people assume I am, Recently I was asked to take on some duties at my daughter's school and my husband put his foot down and said NO. I guess I have trouble saying no to some things. I like being involved and meeting people. If I had to stay in a cubicle all day you'd have to peel me from the ceiling. I know that my husband was right. I am too involved with so many things and adding another would be crazy. Between being a mom and wife I manage to squeeze in college, volunteering at a women's shelter, work and an internship as well as writing content for three websites and legislation for the American Legion.... I am thinking......could I possibly add a yoga class? When right? Working with patients and seeing dealth as much as life abound everyday, I have learned to look at life as a land of opportunities....and you never know what is around the corner to surprise you. I watched my grandparents always talk about traveling but never did it....they died in the same microscopic town in Texas where they had lived 95% of their entire lives. I found it sad and made a decision that I would not find myself bedridden someday with a whole list of regrets. Regrets....about the choices we make......rather than the choices we chose not to make. Faced with difficulties beyond my control there were big rocks in my path but I manage to find my way around them eventually. I never give up. An injury stole the medical career I loved for 20 years so I am like many people in America right now---starting over. I get to reinvent myself. So I decided to go back to college...but couldn't decide to stay in medicine or go into law....and that is a decision I am still struggling with. Doing both....I find myself at a point I have to decide between the two. It is odd to think I'd be stuck in this place...faced with a decision like this when I had always thought I'd be doing the job I loved until I retired. Now....I wonder if anyone will retire...and I just may be one of those who refuse to retire. Heck...I may end up in Belize working as a PA and scuba diving everychance I get. That injury didn't define me. It was a mixed blessing. I found myself home with my kids instead of working 60-85 hour weeks. Sleeping in was a discovery I still revel in and wonder how the heck I survived all those years without it. When the physicians gave me a list of ALL the things I wouldn't be able to do anymore I cried, got mad, and then preceded to prove them wrong. For someone who is technically 90% disabled in both arms/hands...I became an avid scuba diver, design stained glass for my husband to make, and became a DIY professional. At that point I went back to school and so forth. I do refuse to get old. That commercial on TV with the song "When I grow up I want to be an old woman"....makes me want to scream. Yes...I buy and use every anti-aging product I can find less than $50, drink a gallon of water a day, and grew my hair out long. What does the length of my hair have to do with it? I grew up in the south where it is a common belief that as a woman ages she also should shorten her hair and wear frumpy clothes. Sorry...that isn't going to happen here. Today I told my teenage daughter that when I get old, that if she loves me at all she will demand people think of me as still looking 40 even though I passed that landmark years ago. Yes....lie to me. Don't get me wrong. I know I will get old and wrinkled but that doesn't mean I have to like it. If I can afford surgery I will have it. Not for purely selfish reasons but because it is something I can use to fight this to a certain degree. I know my boundaries though. I refuse to be a plumped-up, skin stretched to the point you can't smile, plastic barbie doll kind of woman. At almost 50 I still have all my original parts and aside from getting my nose straightened after a mugger in NY made it turn abruptly to the right, and a tummy-tuck that saved my life.... I am all me. How does a tummy-tuck save one's life? On a lark they found a particularly bad thing and removed it.....and had they not I would be dead. See....vanity saved my life so why shouldn't I think of surgery as a good thing? I never knew how vain I was until I found my first white hair. Did you know that coloring pure white hair is almost impossible? Yep. Thankfully, being a redhead I look like I am getting highlights. I wonder how long I can pull that off? All those years of working in the dark has paid off big time. (Ultrasound techs do it in the dark) Being the lightest shade of pale possible without being technically colorless...my skin is fabulous. I know I am bragging and for goodness sake let me brag...those wrinkles are sneaking around the corner over there! My sisters both used to tan beautifully while I freckled and peeled.....but now I get the pay-off from lack of sun damage. I guess some would say I fit the "cougar" category as my husband is signifantly younger than me....and he has to work to catch up to me. That makes me smile. Why shouldn't it? Some may think I wrote this bragging, bragging blog of bragging more still....to simply brag some more. If you haven't gotten it yet this has become my "pep" talk. I will be young. I won't get old. I think I can....I think I can...of course I can....please say I can...of course you can.....thanks. We all are beautiful. We all are eternally young. We all are vibrant women. Yes we are....we are....of course we are. Repeat our mantra....we are young....we are vibrant....eternallly young.... Oh yeah....Anyone got any tips on spider veins? I wear high heels everyday..I .refuse to go the way of "comfortable" footwear and discard fashion completely. Alright...perhaps that is not entirely true...but I do have a heck of a shoe collection.....now about those spider viens...........fess up I need help!

cheekyredhead Stupid Questions Sep 25, 2009 1:46 PM We have ALL heard them and I am asking you to share them here..... And I will start with.................

cheekyredhead "What?" or "What!" Sep 22, 2009 11:28 PM As a mom of three teenagers I sometimes wonder if they listen to half of what I say and find myself praying they at least allow some of what they are ignoring to seep into their subconscious. Anyway that is my life day in and day out…listen to me…pay attention…this is important…. been there right? Kids seem to take on parts of our own personalities. When they do, seeing that little piece of yourself in a mannerism, a laugh, or perhaps that one trait you wish they hadn’t grabbed onto and kept as their own; it can just drive you nuts. On the other hand, it may just make you want to burst out in laughter. I am going to step out of my comfort zone and admit that I routinely torment my kids. Not in a painful- going to get arrested sort of way- but in an “OMG tell me you didn’t just do that” kind of thing. There is a sort of bizarre sort of satisfaction from watching them squirm a little. I know I am not the only one that has done this to their kids. Some of us have perfected this little game. My sister feels it is payback for all the embarrassing things our kids have put us through but I prefer to think of it as simply humor on edge. How does one teach teenagers patience? My father had a unique and exquisitely painful way. He simply made you wait until the day before you absolutely positively had to have an answer and yes that is torture. If you pestered him about it the answer was always “No” but if you were patient the answer was almost always “Yes” unless you did something to screw things up for yourself. Unfortunately I never mastered that one skill regrettably. Because of this I am tormented daily with all the “Have you decided yet?” pokes at my thin resolve. It is okay because I have my own arsenal of tools which I use in other ways. Perhaps my husband and I accidentally on purpose erase the “Robot Chicken” episodes the kids thought they were sneaking around recording behind our back. The best part is that he and I watch them first and then discuss how funny they were while they are in ear-shot. The groaning we hear when they discover they are gone is fabulous. Today was my shining achievement and I am here to brag. Yep- I am very proud of this one. My son has this habit of always saying “What?” like he is innocent when it is obvious he isn’t. It sometimes wears us all thin because we know this is his way of rubbing it in. He is very sneaky but not clever enough to cover his tracks. Sometimes he revels in actually getting caught and of course he simply says his signature “What?” Today he went around all day long saying “What?” only the tone was very different. I started paying a little more attention and discovered he was following around my daughter insisting that she tell him “what” she had done. Hmmmm….my Mom radar was going off so I had to know “what” was going on but I knew that with all good things one must wait. Bedtime I hear him still asking her “what did she do” and all she would say is “You’ll know, it is only a matter of time.” He groaned. After about an hour I called my daughter on her cell phone and asked “So what did you do to your brother that has been tormenting him all day?” She laughed and said, “Nothing. I just figured if he was going to be going around saying ‘What’ all the time that I’d give him something to really say ‘What’ about.” Yes! I love it! She has been taught by the master. That girl deserves chocolate.

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